It has been awhile. In fact it has been 418 days or 5 weeks & 5 days or approximately 13 months or to just put it straightly across, it has been more than 1 year since I last wrote in my own blog.
If you remember reading in my last blog entry in June 2016, ever since that day on, I retracted and became more quiet. I have been garnering various feedback from love ones, family, mentors, friends, and clients as I went on a self discovery phase. I felt stuck and when death comes to mind and the thought of my children, I start to feel life is fleeting. These feelings started to get more intense as I left my twenties and entered into my thirties in February 2017. I raised my concerns across and many, especially family, wanted me to just be normal. I pondered on what is truly define as to being normal. Generally, it is define as people confirming to the norms in society- regularly occurring behavior that has become accepted in society.
So my next question was, why do I need to succumb to normality?
Earlier on in my teenage life, I have already discovered that my life is abnormal. It was definitely a struggle to accept it and I would usually hide the fact about myself as a defense from getting backlash by society. However, as years went by, I asked myself, why do I need to even care what others thinks about me? Why can't I just be me?
I decided to embrace the fact.
The fact that at the age of 12, my parents were divorced and it hit me hard as I was sitting for primary school leaving examination (PSLE). Though I scored a high aggregate in my PSLE results and I got to enter the express stream in secondary school, I have to embrace the fact that my parents are no longer together. I had to depend on my mother's strength, had to give up a part of my childhood as I was often tasked to take care of my 3 younger siblings when my mother had to work days and nights. I felt dejected, unacknowledged and alone. I got angry, rebellious and my social life led me astray.
The fact that I got pregnant and married at 16 years young. Two months before my seventeen birthday, I am already a mother and a wife. As a result, I was despised by most of my family members and my mother in law. I was a super employee, a workaholic and an ignorant wife. The time when I chose to salvage my marriage over my career, we got homeless and I was pregnant with my third child.
The fact that at the age of 23 years old, I faced the lowest point in my life. I was left to fend for my two growing children and a baby. Living in a rental flat and was living on social assistance. Went through a 3 year separation with my missing-in-action husband and finally got the divorce finalized at the age of 27. Though life was hard during this phase, I was blessed to know caring & genuine people and make amends with my own family. I also had the opportunity to gather new knowledge and experiences as I stumbled into entrepreneurship. I was blessed with a new lease of life. Since thereon I always lived on my motto; I am a survivor, never a victim of any circumstances and I am forever grateful for the kind individuals who helped my family.
Now I am 30 years old. With the strength blessed by the Almighty, I currently spearheads a virtual assistance service, a franchise owner of a wellness business and am currently pursuing for a Diploma in Business Practise - Business Management in Singapore Polytechnic. Oftentimes, my intelligence was questioned due to my background. Everybody has a past. No matter, I have never let anything stops me from studying and upgrading myself so that I can always give back to society and be a valuable contribution factor at large. Also, we - my three children and I - had recently remarried on 1st July 2017. This gentleman was a single man whom I had the opportunity to befriend and whom selflessly showered love, care and concern on all my children. Someone whom have never been married and patiently waited 3 years for me to finally agree to his marriage proposal. It was a courage I had to muster after my last failed marriage and I am glad that the Almighty have blessed us with a restored faith and a chance to love again.
You see, why am I sharing with you this bits and pieces of updates of my life is in the hope that if you are reading this, do know that people and situation change over time. I would also like to commend you for taking time to read this and for persevering through your own challenges and becoming a resilient human. Do not belittle anyone nor yourself. Practice self love and love everyone for every lives matter. You would not know that the next person you extend kindness, love or help, although a little, may mean the world to someone or a family in need. My soft spot is usually for children and mothers. Like what my close friend Manisha said;
Because you're a woman who has gone through it all but you still believe in hope, love and humanity. Because you're a mother who has pushed down hurdles and it is your biggest wish that your children grow up in a world that will never make them face prejudice.. only love understanding and faith.
With that, I have reached the end of this quick update and I hope to hear from you. Feel free to share some love. If you would like to stick around, connect and get updates from me, do subscribe or join me in my next FB Live or Vlog!
Last Monday, 6th June 2016, marked the first day of our special holy month in the calendar of Muslims. It is Ramadhan; our Fasting month and unlike the many other years before, I decided to consume Suhūr Shake™ for my predawn meals and share about it. I gave the solution to others and received great positive feedback from friends & family who are on it too. I am definitely grateful.
Subsequently; the day after, I was reported missing.
Upon reflection of the episode and the whole event that occurred the previous week, I have learnt a great deal and it certainly serves as a reminder when I was once too busy. Apart from that timely reminder, I learnt a new term: Unconditional Love & Giving. Please allow me to share more...
Since my marriage ended, I knew that true love simply did not exist, or if it did, I didn’t deserve it. In deep grieving I wept, curled up for days in bed, and crawled back into the hole of despair after every failed relationship. Without love, I felt that life was void. It was like breathing without air and living without a heartbeat. In the depth of that suffocating pain, my soul was stripped bare, and in that totally exposed and vulnerable state, I surrendered to life. In the total surrender, acceptance held me within the pain and hopelessness. And I slept, woke up and move on.
Over the years that followed, peace emerged, and then as spontaneous as the sun can shine again after the clouds have moved, something shifted within me. I was already present here as unconditional love itself. Unconditional love for the imperfect me, the hurting, lost; the desperate woman I had grown to be, who sought for the definition of my worth through everyone else but myself.
I thought I would find it in another human being who would be the love of my life because I never felt it from my parents. I craved unconditional love but I never loved unconditionally because I never knew it in myself. When I dropped the search and surrendered, it simply unfolded. I realized my true love had been right here all along, within me. It was me, in my purest form, when all my layers of pain and perceptions had dropped. There was no more hole, for I had found my true and divine love, and this love now overflows not from lack but from abundance. So if you’re still searching or wondering what true love is, know that it’s right here within you. It’s your purest essence—unconditional love for yourself and for others.
As I moved on with life, I have always emphasized on myself too that my giving has to be to the best of my ability. I shouldn’t look first to see if the hand that is reaching out for my hand matches my own in skin color or country of origin. Neither if the person in need looks like me, thinks like me or believes like me. Ask yourself in an honest way, “What have I given to anyone in the last day, week, month of my life?” Start small and give an hour of your week or a day out of your month to some service initiative. Save a few dollars a day for the sole purpose of giving it away to someone who needs it, whether through an organization, a collection box or a person you run into on the street. Your giving, even if small in quantity, can make a big difference to both the people you help today, and the person you will be tomorrow. These acts has been embedded in myself for years now and I kept on doing it without realizing that I have been doing it unconditionally.
It’s unconditional love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not unconditional love when other people like us for doing what they want or because we give them what they demand of us. Under those conditions we’re just “paying” for love in a way (or literally in some cases) with what we do to get that attention. We can be certain that we’re receiving unconditional love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated with us. When we make a seemingly poor choice about our lives, take a wrong turn, undo or sabotage our own happiness... its unconditional love that keeps them right there, not judging or punishing but loving without conditions. It’s that love alone that has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine. - Lisa Pool
The results of my actions and the term that I have learnt revealed itself just recently when I went "missing". It made me realize and I tear to this day on the very thought and overwhelming feeling of love from everyone around me. Eternally grateful & my unconditional love to Md Faizal, Jalipah Baba, Md Danial, Siti Nadhirah, Zulaikha, Sri Salminah, Sufiah, Shalina Ismail, Nazeera, Irwan, Suria Affiza, Harasha Bafana and to the many unsung others. Do you believe in Unconditional Love? If so, do know that there are 7 Ways to Practice Unconditional Love that will Change Your Life.
I hope you choose whichever path is right for you and do it unconditionally. ❤
Throughout my entrepreneurial journey, I've strived to stay consistent about consistency. Even the best business plans will fail without a dedication to consistency.
If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. If I say I'm going to be somewhere, I'm there. If I initiate a new business process or initiative, I follow through. In my experience, consistency is a must as you build and grow your business.
With consistency, anything is possible! I may not have the most popular motivational blog today, but what will happen in 10 years, 20 years from now (with consistency). I'm aware that I still have lots of time to practice consistency. What’s your story? What could you accomplish, if you were consistent for the next 10 or 20 years? I hope you answered, “Anything!”
Let's look at 3 lessons on the power of consistency.
1. Consistency Will Eventually Payoff
It takes twenty years to become an overnight success. – Eddie Cantor
The time is going to pass; it only makes sense to be consistent while it’s passing; this way, you will have something valuable to show for the passage of your time.
Progress often hides behind boring solutions and underused insights. You don’t need more information. You don’t need a better strategy. You just need to do more of what already works. A little everyday will eventually equal…success.
Business growth requires a track record of success. You can't establish a track record if you are constantly shifting gears or trying new tactics. Many efforts fail before they get to the finish line, but not because the tactic was flawed or goals weren't clear. The problem is often that the team simply didn't stay the course to achieve the objective. What's your KPI?
2. Consistency is a “Habit”
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle
This is one of my favorite quotes, it’s so telling, so clear. Habit will take you further than your desires. Cultivate the habit of doing successful activities, and you will have a successful life.
Successful habits separate the successful from the unsuccessful, and it’s usually just a handful of habits over the course of many years that separates the victors from the victims. You should also know that you can’t be consistent doing something you don’t love. Love what you do, do your best, and do it consistently, and in enough time you will succeed.
In business, your team pays as much or more attention to what you do as to what you say. Consistency in your leadership serves as a model for how they will behave. If you treat a meeting as unimportant, don't be surprised when you find they are doing the same to fellow teammates or even customers. When something doesn't work, I look back at what happened and ask some serious questions. Self reflect. Most of the time, the reason tracks back to lack of consistency.
3. Consistency makes you relevant
Look to make your course regular, that men may know beforehand what they may expect. – Francis Bacon
If your course is regular, not only will men know what to expect beforehand, but you will as well. When your actions are consistent, your future is predictable. If you keep moving in the right direction, it’s just a matter of time before you get to your goal; that’s just plain common sense.
As for business, your employees and your customers need a predictable flow of information from you. All too often I see businesses, both small and large, adopt a campaign or initiative only to end it before it gains traction. It's effective to run many advertisements, numerous blog entries, weekly newsletters, or continual process changes throughout a year.
Lastly, to be consistent, you will need to be persistent. Persistence requires discipline. A person waiting for inspiration limits achievement to periods when conditions are only desirable to them.
Sometimes you have to push through the pain to get to the promise. Sometimes you have to go through hell before you can get to a blissful state. You won’t always feel inspired, but if you push through the pain, success will be yours. Thank you for reading.
This blog post came in later than usual as I was recently engaged in an awesome annual tech conference during the two weekdays of the past week and another event over the weekends.
I will have to confess though that I do not entirely favor attending networking events or conferences (as I tend to have my introverted days too) but I am one who strongly believes in building new connections and real relationships. It was a blessing in disguise too as it did not only bring me an impressive number of new-found quality connections but the experience did also inspires me to write out this blog post for you.
Have you headed or are heading to a networking event? Keep these tips in mind…
We spend considerable time networking in person because we know it’s still the most important way to build relationships with peers and potential new customers. We pick the events we want to go to and we prepare. For bigger conferences, we spend even more time preparing for the sessions and events we want to attend, people we want to meet and build in time for random hook ups.
When you return from a networking event or a conference, sorting it all out in an organized, timely process is the key to beginning the conversion from just a connection to a real relationship.
There is the planning to go, being there and the follow up, probably the most important way to leverage your RON; return on networking .
There are three important things to consider after going to any in-person event but especially bigger conferences.
This week as I reflected back on all my meet ups, I stumble upon an insightful quote by Maya Angelou.
While I don’t believe any one action defines who someone is, I think there’s something to this. Actions speak louder than words. And repeated actions are what shape our character and reputation
Hi! I'm Liyana. In this blog, I'll share stories, tips and tools to help you move beyond burnout and thrive at the intersection of mind, body and business.
be real. be yourself. be unique. be true.