It has been awhile. In fact it has been 418 days or 5 weeks & 5 days or approximately 13 months or to just put it straightly across, it has been more than 1 year since I last wrote in my own blog.
If you remember reading in my last blog entry in June 2016, ever since that day on, I retracted and became more quiet. I have been garnering various feedback from love ones, family, mentors, friends, and clients as I went on a self discovery phase. I felt stuck and when death comes to mind and the thought of my children, I start to feel life is fleeting. These feelings started to get more intense as I left my twenties and entered into my thirties in February 2017. I raised my concerns across and many, especially family, wanted me to just be normal. I pondered on what is truly define as to being normal. Generally, it is define as people confirming to the norms in society- regularly occurring behavior that has become accepted in society.
So my next question was, why do I need to succumb to normality?
Earlier on in my teenage life, I have already discovered that my life is abnormal. It was definitely a struggle to accept it and I would usually hide the fact about myself as a defense from getting backlash by society. However, as years went by, I asked myself, why do I need to even care what others thinks about me? Why can't I just be me?
I decided to embrace the fact.
The fact that at the age of 12, my parents were divorced and it hit me hard as I was sitting for primary school leaving examination (PSLE). Though I scored a high aggregate in my PSLE results and I got to enter the express stream in secondary school, I have to embrace the fact that my parents are no longer together. I had to depend on my mother's strength, had to give up a part of my childhood as I was often tasked to take care of my 3 younger siblings when my mother had to work days and nights. I felt dejected, unacknowledged and alone. I got angry, rebellious and my social life led me astray.
The fact that I got pregnant and married at 16 years young. Two months before my seventeen birthday, I am already a mother and a wife. As a result, I was despised by most of my family members and my mother in law. I was a super employee, a workaholic and an ignorant wife. The time when I chose to salvage my marriage over my career, we got homeless and I was pregnant with my third child.
The fact that at the age of 23 years old, I faced the lowest point in my life. I was left to fend for my two growing children and a baby. Living in a rental flat and was living on social assistance. Went through a 3 year separation with my missing-in-action husband and finally got the divorce finalized at the age of 27. Though life was hard during this phase, I was blessed to know caring & genuine people and make amends with my own family. I also had the opportunity to gather new knowledge and experiences as I stumbled into entrepreneurship. I was blessed with a new lease of life. Since thereon I always lived on my motto; I am a survivor, never a victim of any circumstances and I am forever grateful for the kind individuals who helped my family.
Now I am 30 years old. With the strength blessed by the Almighty, I currently spearheads a virtual assistance service, a franchise owner of a wellness business and am currently pursuing for a Diploma in Business Practise - Business Management in Singapore Polytechnic. Oftentimes, my intelligence was questioned due to my background. Everybody has a past. No matter, I have never let anything stops me from studying and upgrading myself so that I can always give back to society and be a valuable contribution factor at large. Also, we - my three children and I - had recently remarried on 1st July 2017. This gentleman was a single man whom I had the opportunity to befriend and whom selflessly showered love, care and concern on all my children. Someone whom have never been married and patiently waited 3 years for me to finally agree to his marriage proposal. It was a courage I had to muster after my last failed marriage and I am glad that the Almighty have blessed us with a restored faith and a chance to love again.
You see, why am I sharing with you this bits and pieces of updates of my life is in the hope that if you are reading this, do know that people and situation change over time. I would also like to commend you for taking time to read this and for persevering through your own challenges and becoming a resilient human. Do not belittle anyone nor yourself. Practice self love and love everyone for every lives matter. You would not know that the next person you extend kindness, love or help, although a little, may mean the world to someone or a family in need. My soft spot is usually for children and mothers. Like what my close friend Manisha said;
Because you're a woman who has gone through it all but you still believe in hope, love and humanity. Because you're a mother who has pushed down hurdles and it is your biggest wish that your children grow up in a world that will never make them face prejudice.. only love understanding and faith.
With that, I have reached the end of this quick update and I hope to hear from you. Feel free to share some love. If you would like to stick around, connect and get updates from me, do subscribe or join me in my next FB Live or Vlog!
Hi! I'm Liyana. In this blog, I'll share stories, tips and tools to help you move beyond burnout and thrive at the intersection of mind, body and business.
be real. be yourself. be unique. be true.