Last Monday, 6th June 2016, marked the first day of our special holy month in the calendar of Muslims. It is Ramadhan; our Fasting month and unlike the many other years before, I decided to consume Suhūr Shake™ for my predawn meals and share about it. I gave the solution to others and received great positive feedback from friends & family who are on it too. I am definitely grateful.
Subsequently; the day after, I was reported missing.
Upon reflection of the episode and the whole event that occurred the previous week, I have learnt a great deal and it certainly serves as a reminder when I was once too busy. Apart from that timely reminder, I learnt a new term: Unconditional Love & Giving. Please allow me to share more...
Since my marriage ended, I knew that true love simply did not exist, or if it did, I didn’t deserve it. In deep grieving I wept, curled up for days in bed, and crawled back into the hole of despair after every failed relationship. Without love, I felt that life was void. It was like breathing without air and living without a heartbeat. In the depth of that suffocating pain, my soul was stripped bare, and in that totally exposed and vulnerable state, I surrendered to life. In the total surrender, acceptance held me within the pain and hopelessness. And I slept, woke up and move on.
Over the years that followed, peace emerged, and then as spontaneous as the sun can shine again after the clouds have moved, something shifted within me. I was already present here as unconditional love itself. Unconditional love for the imperfect me, the hurting, lost; the desperate woman I had grown to be, who sought for the definition of my worth through everyone else but myself.
I thought I would find it in another human being who would be the love of my life because I never felt it from my parents. I craved unconditional love but I never loved unconditionally because I never knew it in myself. When I dropped the search and surrendered, it simply unfolded. I realized my true love had been right here all along, within me. It was me, in my purest form, when all my layers of pain and perceptions had dropped. There was no more hole, for I had found my true and divine love, and this love now overflows not from lack but from abundance. So if you’re still searching or wondering what true love is, know that it’s right here within you. It’s your purest essence—unconditional love for yourself and for others.
As I moved on with life, I have always emphasized on myself too that my giving has to be to the best of my ability. I shouldn’t look first to see if the hand that is reaching out for my hand matches my own in skin color or country of origin. Neither if the person in need looks like me, thinks like me or believes like me. Ask yourself in an honest way, “What have I given to anyone in the last day, week, month of my life?” Start small and give an hour of your week or a day out of your month to some service initiative. Save a few dollars a day for the sole purpose of giving it away to someone who needs it, whether through an organization, a collection box or a person you run into on the street. Your giving, even if small in quantity, can make a big difference to both the people you help today, and the person you will be tomorrow. These acts has been embedded in myself for years now and I kept on doing it without realizing that I have been doing it unconditionally.
It’s unconditional love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not unconditional love when other people like us for doing what they want or because we give them what they demand of us. Under those conditions we’re just “paying” for love in a way (or literally in some cases) with what we do to get that attention. We can be certain that we’re receiving unconditional love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated with us. When we make a seemingly poor choice about our lives, take a wrong turn, undo or sabotage our own happiness... its unconditional love that keeps them right there, not judging or punishing but loving without conditions. It’s that love alone that has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine. - Lisa Pool
The results of my actions and the term that I have learnt revealed itself just recently when I went "missing". It made me realize and I tear to this day on the very thought and overwhelming feeling of love from everyone around me. Eternally grateful & my unconditional love to Md Faizal, Jalipah Baba, Md Danial, Siti Nadhirah, Zulaikha, Sri Salminah, Sufiah, Shalina Ismail, Nazeera, Irwan, Suria Affiza, Harasha Bafana and to the many unsung others. Do you believe in Unconditional Love? If so, do know that there are 7 Ways to Practice Unconditional Love that will Change Your Life.
I hope you choose whichever path is right for you and do it unconditionally. ❤
Hi! I'm Liyana. In this blog, I'll share stories, tips and tools to help you move beyond burnout and thrive at the intersection of mind, body and business.
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